I’m confined, vanished in mind and already lost the sense of time. I don’t know what day it is anymore because the diurnal routine is flavourless during quarantine. I roam within the two floors and four walls of my abode. Looking out my window I see that the trees aren’t casting a perpendicular shadow. “Sun must be head high,” I say in an unspectacular sigh and woo for another COVIDafternoon. “Work with what you got,” is a reminder I tattoo on my thoughts and I ought to find ways to entertain myself throughout this day.
I lay away and read to stimulate the brain, but then I hear a loud “thud” in a nearby gangway. I prop up to question the origin of this unknown commotion. Conducting a swift reconnaissance of the ground level of my fortress I discover no sign of a breach at its entrance. There’s no culprit to subdue, so I seek for clues and irregularities in my fixed surroundings. Ala “Dick Tracy” I inspect and wish to detect the perpetrator for this midday distress. Then, in the midst of my quest I recognize the soft whining of an old door’s hinges cringingly creaking and it’s paired with the gun-cocking-like clatter of an unlocking doorknob. I brusquely realize the clamor came from a space above and my CORONAimprisoned brain, that’s been marinating in everything “Mafia” on Netflix, jumps to conclusions claiming there’s been an intrusion.
I rush up the stairs determined to capture my potential invader and see the access to my bedchamber has been closed and secure. I swing open the entry, step in and scan the dormitory uncovering no trace suggesting a trespassing. It’s now in my best belief that, for the sake of my sanity, I must forfeit and retreat from this lunacy. I turn around to walk out of my boudoir when I’m abruptly put to a halt. Because in front of me is standing a seductive soul-snatching covert Burmese assassin. I do a fast “optical pat-down” to assess the gravity of the situation but there is no way a weapon could be sheathed beneath her tight and deadly black-laced-lingerie. The sexy intruder walks towards me, and I start backpedaling. She closes the door behind her quietly. A sly smirk oozes off her jib and then she provocatively nibbles at her lip. Wielding eyes that are lethally hypnotizing I feel her silently taunting me. I say a quick prayer to the gods of bedroom warfare and scheme for amatory victory. I’m confident that the sexucational films that I’ve study during isolation, tethered to my many years practicing martial arts, have prepared me for this very moment.
The sensual and consensual sultry wrestle begins, and this killer isn’t hold back. I remember that in judo we’re taught the martial-art’s philosophy of using your opponent’s energy to work against them, “Minimal effort, with maximum efficiency.” In order to discover her weakness, I must flow with the energy of her kinkyness. I cunningly perform an “Ōuchi gari” then cunnilingusly-attack this experienced ninja. Impressed by my technique she nods her head and grins signaling a positive critique. We constantly trade blows not giving the other a chance to catch they breath, both wet in pheromone-laced sweat. My heart nearly stops by her skills in the dark-fellacious arts and realize I can’t go easy on this crotch-wizard.
I’m more than sure that I can conquer her with my pure heart and will, but she’s a skilled, foxy, dick-slaying assassin, so I must work on a coquettish-strategy. Our bodies continue to clash and genitalia smashes against another violently. So far, it’s been a fair fight. But I’m out to win, so it’s time to “play dirty.” I quickly pass her guard and went straight into “Kesa-gatame,” where I then went full “Christian Grey.” While pinning her down I use my nearby shirt-ties as mock handcuffs and fasten her wrists behind her. Then the prowler bends over and submits, releasing a cute wince. The lustful assassin is now in erogenous bondage and devotedly helpless. She moans affectionately in ecstasy when I begin the blindfolding. I’m amazed that a smile never leaves her face. In a haste I pace around in search for a tool-of-arousal to help me slay this sexecutioner. “I have to work with what I got,” I laughingly say to she and begin to craft my improvised sexual weaponry.
Like a filthy “MacGyver” I forge a phallic-like venereal-dagger and hover over my romantic prisoner. She’s restrained, deprived of her sight and I can annihilate this quixotic-assailant now or I can take my time. I opt to toy and tease her as tender-torture, but the coitus-stabbing isn’t enough to massacre her. So, I pull her hair by the tips to bring her ear near my lips and say, “you’ll soon be finished.” Stepping back to rapidly examine the specimen, I decide my angle of trajectory and then reminisce of the wise words from my karate sensei, “A weapon is simply an extension of your own body.”
While my attached weapon has her gagged, I commence to thrust deep stabs her exposed Burmese-gash with the counterfeit-sex-armament. The bootylicious hitwoman undergoes an uninterrupted combo of attacks from every position and in amorous anguish she begs for her execution, to extinguish the repetitive impalement. I won’t fall for any deceit, so I dismiss her plea and don’t stop until she falls in defeat. All sides penetrated in unison and her hatchet-wound is now leaking profusely. During the final blows I rip off her blindfold to stare into the windows of her soul. I jab the prurient-bayonet and leave it stuck in her concupiscent-laceration. Libidinous tears roll downwards to the margins of her gapping smile as she topples over shakingly. I pull out the lascivious-carver and see how the slit spit like a geyser. She squirms in between her squirts before eventually perishing, like how one would bleed-out from a gushing perforated artery and I’m the final finishing winner. I stand over the intriguing bedroom-raider, continuously staring into her mesmerizing eyes and begin to unbind the securing ties. I make an abrupt exit and leave her kaput and lifeless. It’s now calm and there’s no disorder.
I’m back downstairs fixing myself a refreshing pint of beer. When I then vociferously hear, “O****R! WHAT THE F * C K , ARE YOU SERIOUS!? PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID NOT USE THIS M****R IN A CONDOM ON ME WHEN I COULDN’T SEE!” I spill my beverage because I’m laughing hysterically, slapping the counter and fall to my knees. Gathering myself while still chuckling, I pour another beverage and answer to the voice ahead, “Babe, during the heat of battle, it’s do or die, and you must improvise with what you got!” She is displeased with my response and piercingly rejoinders, “SERIOUSLY, A F*CKING M****R!?” My laughter never ceases, making it hard to sip my drink and I just stand there and think. I gulp down my pint and utter a late answer, “It’s just part of the ‘role-play,’ don’t worry you’ll be okay.” I try to come up with new ideas to keep things interesting during this bland quarantine.
Our time during this seclusion will only be tasteless if we allow it. So, I get freaky to keep things exciting and continue to flex my ingenuity. Remember that only the boring get bored…
Part
3 – Full Circle
[“I’m almost 30 and you got me acting like a teenager”]
Life is a funny beast. It evolves
(you never get to see its final form) and manipulates your surroundings; every
action, ripples and creates the “butterfly effect” {“If it’s meant to be, then
it’ll come back to me.”}. Years sum and add up, I’ve established myself in
Hawai‘i and I’m LOVING IT! I’ve matured from a retail store manager, to a
collegiately educated “WOKE” professional. The decisions I’ve made throughout
my life come with no regrets; I take them all as “learning experiences.” {Failed
relationship after another} Loving living my life, never staying complacent and
always pursuing more. “I’m not stopping until I see my name on billboards,” was
a common inner thought I repeated to myself. Every time I sign anything, I still
always say, “This signature will cost a lot of money one day.” I am the GOD of
my own universe and it’s no secret. But the one thing I can’t seem to master is
finding a GODDESS to accompany me, especially one who I share that unspeakable
connection with. I keep searching to suffice that void. Constantly hunting for
anyone who can ignite that fire inside of me, preferably at first sight.
{“Hmmm, well, there’s only one person that I know has that… I wonder what SHE
and her boyfriend are up to?”} As years kept passing and mistakes keep
happening. My happiness is spread out too thin.
Lost and heartbroken from handing
my entirety over to those who just use me. I self-abuse and consequently harm
others, like a romance-junkie with withdrawals looking to get his fix. When
that love drug consumes you and it’s gone {like she is} you’ll degrade yourself
to get a taste of it, threatening people for love, “C’mon baby, we can work
this out… Please don’t leave me alone, I’ll even perform cunnilingus wherever, whenever,
promise.” When it goes to shit and you’re all used up, feeling like you can’t go
down on life any lower, the only way to go further, is back up. Reminiscing
with my support system and breaking down to my therapist, “I guess I just miss
that sensation of bliss. You know, when someone makes your heartbeat skip?” {“I
wonder if she even remembers me… or thinks about that weird connection we
shared.”} Time keeps flying by and my life is progressing for the better. Moved
back to SoCal, constantly maturing, living, adapting and making things happen. Writer,
business owner, avid reader, judoka, poet and performer. I’m beginning to get comfortable
with myself and coincidentally SHE starts making subtle appearances in my life
again. {“Whoa, can it be!? @[she_who_got_away] is seeing my stories, liking my
pictures and even commenting!? Nah nah nah, ok ok ok… Well, she’s still all the
way over there. It wouldn’t hurt to comment back, right?”}. We haven’t “seen”
or “talked” to each other in like 6+ years!
I keep my distance and play the
social media game. She still looks puuurfect, stunning and mouthwateringly
classy. {“College graduate and an active member in the workforce. Seems like
our lives turned out pretty good after all.”}. Confidence is brewing and her
pictures have me drooling, I decide to at least vocalize what she’s doing to
me. “D A M N” and “U G H” are seriously the only things that come out of me,
because her beauty is just so damn disturbing. I’m truly trying to be sincere
and express admiration at her classy sassy presentation. Like the millennials
we are, our common vernacular is weird and off, I’m shocked that my “fuck-boy’esque”
comments would spark a reaction. Cowboy hat emojis, “thank you” and “hope
you’re doing good” were the limited initial responses from the goddess. Time
passes and our conversation surpasses two sentences. I try to make an
impression and plant a seed in her mental cavity. I ask for thoughts and help
on one of my joints, she gladly started dropping science. I’m smiling profusely
at the fact that we’re talking. Even though life’s passed, progressed and there
may be no hope for a romantic relationship, I’m just happy to know she hasn’t
completely forgotten about me. “Thanks for thinking about me :)” she says and I
quickly respond, “Well, you’re not someone easy to forget.” “haha, likewise!” she
replies {“oooooof, she’s got me spinning in my seat and I shouldn’t take that
comment flirtatiously… BUT GHAD D A M N she’s toying with me, again.”}. Time
continues to tick on by and I’m living life. Loving thyself, the world is my
playground and though I’m still “by myself,” I’m “content.” {“Still looking to
be convinced that not all people suck.”}
The 2000s are almost 20, though
we’ve constantly seen each other through pictures, I can’t process what it
would be like to see another tangibly in person {and I wonder, “does she ponder
about the same thing?”}. We’re steadily in observance of another’s instastories,
I’m still dropping “D A M N” at every post and ecstatic to see I haven’t been
ghosted. It’s the beginning of summer and it’s HOTT, I’m relaxing at home, grip
my phone and see that @[she_who_got_away] is about 15mins from where I stay! {“HOLY
SHIT! DO I SAY SOMETHING!? ERRMEHGHERD!!!”} Pacing around throughout my house, trying
to figure out what to say, I vent to canela looking for a response and then laugh
staring at my dog’s stare that blared, “NUT UP OR SHUT UP!” Deep breath in, exhale
out all the maluka. “So, you’re in SD…?” I say to she. I’m shaking and
questioning if I shouldn’t’ve said anything. I calm the nerves with a toke of
THC, in hopes of a response saying, shit, anything…
Not immediately,
@[she_who_got_away] replies, “Yesss” accompanied by a questionably awkward
emoji {“ok, O K A Y. Let’s obtain this grain!”}. She then mentions the reason
of her short stay; I take no time and recommend, “Well, if you finagle some
freetime, it’d be nice to exchange words through a different avenue rather than
just insta. Lemme know.” In a quick reply, the goddess enacts, “I’d love that!”
Similar, to the first time we met, I hand her the 11-digit means of
communication with me and we fight her flight for a time to meet. She conducts
an informal interview before being seen and says, “I mean a lot happens in like
6 years so I don’t even know where to begin… Interesting how history repeats.” Together
we plan to meet at the mall, to then venture off for some alcohol. {“Holy shit,
this is really happening. WHAT THE F*CK am I going to say!? I hope to not f*ck
this up…”} Getting ready to reunite with @[she_who_got_away], staring at myself
in the bathroom’s mirror, smiling profusely and giggling freely. I sit,
reminisce about how it all began and chuckle at how I thought I’d never see her
again. Before departing I text her, “Holy shit, can’t believe this is
happening” and she replies, “believe it!” {“This is F*CKING BANANAS. Don’t try
so hard and let whatever happen, happen. Ok, O K A Y. LET’S WRESTLE THIS
PRETZEL!”}
I’d never been so happy to drive to
the mall, the entire way I’m singing along to sappy songs, smiling and waving
to all the gentiles out soaking the sun. No longer questioning if it’ll go well
since I’m not expecting anything but only to reunite and play catch-up with an
old “acquaintance.” I maintain my sanity by repeating “its ok, you’re just
talking.” I park my truck and buck off the nervousness. I can’t help but stress
about how she might react and hoping she won’t backout. The entire walk to the
front doors I’m prep talking and psyching myself up {“Fuck this is it, storm
through the doors and try not to floor it. Ok, O K A Y. Lets collect this
baguette!”}. “Hey, I’m coming in HOTT!” hitting send and walking through the
sliding doors, I soon realize I’m entering murky waters. Like a savage gator,
she peaks over the swap of shopping bags on the couches where she laid waiting.
Not knowing how to fend off her luring and devouring exquisiteness, it feels
like I’m frozen and gliding on ice towards her before realizing I’m standing in
front thy face. She’s sleek, slender and sassy, the same culprit leaving me
immobile in previous years. {“HOLY SH*T, she’s still gorgeous. Nothing has
changed, I’m getting those steel-winged butterflies pounding my stomach
again.”} “GHAD DAMN you look good! I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you!”
she then replies in a likewise manner. We stand still, hug and giggle. In
between our laughter we constantly remind another of how we can’t believe we’re
actually seeing each other. Nervously I initiate conversation wishing to know
more about events passed in the time we’ve been distant. Making our way to the
sushi bar she laughs and says, “Hey, didn’t we get the same when you first visited
me up north?” {“D A M N… she remembers a small detail. Don’t overhype this, you
two are just catching up. Plus, that 2012 summer-puppy-love is too juvenile for
her maturity. Ok, O K A Y. Let’s solicit this biscuit!”}
The entirety of our time shared together was pure ecstasy. Her smile oozes charms that sedate any who stands before it, her lexis is complex enough to show higher education but contemporarily fun, and I can talk forever, complementing, about how grand she is. {“Ok O K AY, lets take this cake.”} We fancy a pint and begin to catch up. A smile never escaped our faces with the same sensations of bliss that I would reminisce. Laughing and trading stories, we clear up misconceptions about some previous events. Back and forth, call and response. There is never a moment of silence and no awkward moment in sight. Our conversation segways into a marathon of, “do you remember when?…” Smiles, giggles, embarrassed blushes, “OH MY GODS” and more flood out of our mouths. {“Her every laugh makes me quake, I just want to slide my fingers through her hair…”} “Yeah, we’re gonna order one more” dismissing the waitress away, to not miss any second of the anomaly happening in front of me. Her every giggle between sips makes me fickle and buckle. Though we’re playing and joking around, there’s a serious emotional “tension” pulsating throughout my body {“she liked you as a boy, and you question if she likes the ‘man’ version of you. Well, you still feel the connection, does she?”}. Time is ticking by slowly and we’re sipping gladly trading stories. Sad and heartwarming, we catch up on pretty much everything. She questions my status as single and I told her the tragic tale resulting with me being regurgitated back to life. We sigh and acknowledge the mishaps of life, she apologizes and I say, “Well, some people suck and you can’t really do much about it.” She laughs, says, “true” sips on her brew and before she could continue conversation I interrupt, “well, are you seeing anyone?” With the same confidence that I’ve been craving she calmly says no. I’m cheddar cheesing on the inside and trying to keep my composure on the outside. Continuing our awesome conversations and laughing constantly, we wrap up our sit down and begin our head back to the mall. {“She’s doing something, and it isn’t just arousal. How can it be that though we haven’t talked or anything, it feels like nothing has changed?”} Before hitting the road she says (as if she’s in my head), “Isn’t it weird how we kinda went full circle?” Timidly laughing I concur with her statement and surprised to hear it followed with, “feels like nothing changed :)” {“HOLY SHIT!!!”}
Her statement fucked me up more
than blunt & whiskey crossfades. I’m trying my best to not start sweating
like a priest in a little league game and in a heartful way I say, “yeah, I
know what you mean.” {“I’m really trying not to crash this truck, but fuck! Her
gut-busting smirk has my heart in a rut and I’m feeling dizzy from her words.”}
The short ride back felt marvelously perpetual. I’m cherishing every
millisecond with her. I’ve finally been reunited with that spark that makes my
heart bark. It’s satisfying enough knowing that “whatever this is, it still
exists.” My words are unable to adequately give justice to the feeling she gives
me, but believe me this, “she’s extraordinary.” Arriving to the mall and
wishing this won’t be our final farewell, I scurry in a hurry for excuses to
continue hanging out with the goddess. We dash to the mall’s Target, playing
through the aisles and joking around with the products. Bliss is an
understatement for how she makes me feel. Every step funneling our bodies
closer, going from arms reach in distance, to walking in unison as we embrace
another without letting go. Holding hands and childlike behaviour flourishing,
stopping constantly to just look into each other’s eyes. {“I’m happy, she’s
making me H A P P Y. I gotta let her know what she’s doing to me. ok, O K A Y.
Let’s elope this loaf!”} Walking through the passages (we’ve already circled
the entire store at least 4x) and every step I’m saying to myself “do it, say
it,” conjoined at the hip we whip and waltz into a crafts aisle, flippantly
checking out the merchandise, she gives me a hug and before I could spew out my
feelings… {*FUCKING BANGO!*} She starts to massage my lips using her own. A
kiss so aggressively gingerly. Our initial mouth-embrace was light (like when
we were young), holding back the savagery of our natural beings. Pulling back
my head to see if I’m not being pranked. My legs are shaking and heart is
racing from seeing her smile after she planted a kiss on me. {“She’s not the
only one trying to get this bread. Is she hungrier than me?”}
We laugh, stare at each other and
then back at it again. We impregnated the aisles of the store with our lustful
allure. Like teenagers again, hiding from cameras, running around, laughing and
friskily kissing. Knowing and “respecting” where we were at, we held back… you
know, kept it PG/PG-13ish? “I’m almost 30 and you got me acting like a
teenager,” I tell her as I fretfully laugh. Desecrating our status as adults
through the gangways of the mall, she receives a call, saying its time to wrap
up and head home. Just like before, I’m salty and sore that she has to go once
more. She decides to walk me to my truck (almost as if she was looking for
excuses to hang a little bit more). We talk, exchanging words of frustration
about our current situation. What was felt as lost, now feels found and it’s
about to head out of town. We kiss and make-out, in no pout, since “something”
brought us back together after all this time. “I don’t think this will be our
last time seeing each other again, whatever happens, happens” she says. {“She’s
fucking toying with my head again and I’m loving every second of it!”} Mirroring
our previous encounters, we talked non-stop. Flirtatious and erotic, mature and
stoic. It feels like nothing has changed. I sit dreading the following day, when
this summer-puppy-love with depart again, while reading texts from her saying, “Loved
seeing you, I knew I would!” {“This is exactly what I’ve been craving, and she’s
drowned with what I’m thirsting. Her life is still over there and I’m over here…
I GOTTA SEE HER ONE MORE TIME!”} “I’ll hate myself so much if I don’t see you
one more time before you leave.” – “Well, you could meet me at the airport
before my flight.” The only time we could congregate between our schedules was 1.5hrs
before her flight. I didn’t care if it was 30mins, I needed to see her. She
questioned my sanity when agreeing to meet right before her departure. “It’s my
decision.” I firmly countered. {“Lets jump to the airport parkinglot…”}
Our orchestrated attack was conducted flawlessly. We coordinated our arrivals to the airport, giving her enough time to be dismissed from her family, before I give the proper blessing and farewell. {“Fuck, this is it. Like really it, who knows when/if we’ll ever see each other again.”} We park the truck in the airports lot and I begin, “I’m glad to be given the opportunity to make new memories with you.” Retorting similarly, her words penetrated my chest. The mood is somber compared to yesterday’s clamor. But the feeling isn’t sour, more bittersweet than ever. She’s the [Ray] of sunshine that brightens my day and soon she’ll be drifting away. Coinciding in thought we mention our appreciation for the moment we’re sharing. We kiss and dismiss all the people walking around us. The two cubs that rolled around on the carpet, grew and began to tussle in my truck. Gripping her thigh and caressing her back, kissing her neck and pulling her hair. Staring into another’s eyes before attacking our oral orifices…. {Ok, O K A Y. Let’s not turn this into an erotic novel.”} Everything flows with her and our true raw selves are unshelled amongst each other. Our emotions crashing into another likes rouge waves. Destroying everything in their way. Animalistically yet classy she reciprocates my actions. Catching our breath and laughing we quickly deny the approaching closing time. {“FUCK THIS IS GONNA SUCK”} We walk towards the folks at TSA and I’m wishing to just say, “[Ray] please don’t go! STAY!” It hurts to admit this miss will leave in a few minutes. We walk slower and talk longer, we kiss and tell another “I’m going to miss this.” {“Thank you, really thank you.”} She assures me of her deep belief in us meeting again someday, maybe by fate and plants one final kiss before fading away through TSA. “Who knows maybe you’ll up in sac for a business meeting or something… Maybe you’ll be there in August?..” she declares. Though the Ray faded away, my days remain bright. I go without fright because this experience brought life. “We still have a lot of life to live. We’re currently in different areas. After my past experience, I’m happy with just respecting what’s realistically tangible. Life brought us together more than once. So, whatever happens, happens… I just wanna say thank you for reassuring me that though some people suck, there’s still hope in others :)”
2019
{“It’s funny how history repeats.
We’ve come full circle.”}
Part 2 – Going the Distance [“We’ll finally be together in a few moments”]
*Seatbelt notice is off now, thank
you for flying with US*
Crushing a can of vanilla coke, tossing it into the recycling bin, I’m waiting for my ride in this August rush. {“Why isn’t anyone smiling? These folks haven’t shed a grin since the Raiders had both eyes.”} “Peace God!” yells my lift’s driver when picking me up and as I’m stepping into the Holiday Inn and its “no turning back now, let’s get this!” I plot out my 4 day stay and try to focus on the itinerary, as the quiet town serenades me to sleep. {“Ok, O K A Y. this town is “interesting,” let’s see how it’s like across the bridge. Will this be my new life?”} I mop up the complimentary breakfast, shoot my “other half” a routine good morning text and set my sights on completing the first tasks: A) Check out the uni B) Check out the town. I wait for my cab, headphones in blasting Summer Nights by Lil Rob and fidget with the brochures. I’m consuming the little I’ve experienced so far, trying not to assume how the rest will turn out.
“Mike’s Cabs” rolls up and I’m horrifically happy to see the
conductor of my chariot. I shove myself into the back seat, a painfully raspy
voice says, “I’m Mike, I’ll get you wherever. Put your seatbelt on.” Already,
I’m terrified of Mike, his dead beady eyes stared at me through the rear-view
mirror and I could hear him gripping his steering wheel tighter as I said,
“Hey, thanks for picking me up. Cal Maritime Academy please,” the ford’s crown
Victorian pleather screams in agony from the cinchingly-awkward tension from
this first encounter. We hit the road and I’m vocally in awe of the bridges,
trees, the bay and say, “Doesn’t seem too bad.” “WHAT!?” replies Mike, I
apologize and mention to him that I was simply thinking out loud. He then turns
back and we lock eyes. {“HOLY SH*T, WHAT THE F*CK”} I divert my
glare from his thousand-yard stare to the radio in front of me and see USMC
tattooed under his agent orange covered forearm skin. A golden globe and anchor
insignia branded above his elbow wielding a fist with only 2 digits and thumb
trying to change the station. “Cal Maritime Academy, eh? You trying to go into
shallow patrol?” Mike initiates small talk. I sit trying to decipher his jargon
and notice the scenery changing dramatically. Everything is dead. [“This place
is a sh*thole.” Mike says under his breath] The california sun,
prosperity and dreams never reached this pocket of it’s bay. Forgotten and left
to rot, it’s depressing as f*ck. I shake back into conversation, “Sorry,
shallow water like ‘coast guard?’ Nah, maybe I’ll join the navy after college,
but I got other things on my mind.” Mike then falls into a spiral as he
tells me about his experiences in ‘Nam. The expat continued to brief me on
details he had to entail, frail at the memories of lost comrades and in an
angrily shaking tone states, “I can’t say I didn’t have a good time though.”
“Hey babygirl, I’m on the cab going to
the academy. I hope to see you soon.” I strategically send a text to “my
girl” to have a timestamp of my whereabouts, incase, you know, something weird
happens to me. Mike, kept asking, “What are you Thai, Cambodian or something?” I
can see Mike giving me an ocular pat-down between his inquiries of my ethnic
origin. “I’m mixed, Latino and Asian” I apprehensively answered. His eyebrows unflexed
and incomplete smile reflected on the review-mirror, then says, “Ahhhhhhh, that’s
not something you hear every day. Well, looks like we’re about to get to know
each other a little better, traffic is starting to build up.” Mike’s demeaner shifted
and laughter began to spew out of his chapped lips, from the stories we shared
and compared from the times he was a “young stud” looking for love. Not even
halfway to the academy, Mike shuts off the meter, “You’re something else kid, I
haven’t had this much fun on the job before. Just give me $50 and keep making
me laugh.” I’m shocked and stoked at the same time, from the drastic alteration
in this here scenario. Picking up all the life advice that Mike was putting
down, I frown at the reality that nothing here seems to be appealing for me.
{“I’m a beach boy, not a kid of the bay.”} Getting closer to the barracks of
the university, I ask Mike, “Hey, want to just give me your number and I request
your services exclusively, for a flat rate, instead of giving other
folks business? Plus, I’m going to need a ride to the train station and back
later.” Mike chuckles and shakes his head “Yeah, Ok kid. I don’t see why not.” *Friendship
formed*
“Hey babe, I’m almost to the school,
can’t wait to hold you soon.” I verbalize as I type and hit send on a text for my
treasured far away “friend.” “Awww that’s cute, but that’s not gone’ get you
laid” my new friend playfully utters in a lungful. I laugh back and gaze at the
school’s massive gates fortressing the campus separating it from the cold, dark
and despair of the outside “ghetto.” Across the street from the school’s
security booth, lies a Motel6. A petri dish colonized by a bacterium of
prostitution and other kinds of strange. Outside door 1-1-4 is a pimp slapping
his whore (she didn’t look like a pro-stitute and calling her just a “tute”
didn’t carry the rhyme). Mike belches out a phrase, “Just like Bangkok and
DingDang.” I chuckle back nervously and ask myself, “What the hell am I getting
into!?” We pass the gateways and ride up a tremendously steep driveway. An
oasis of colour in a desert of flavourless sorrow {“Hey, this schools pretty
fucking cool.”}. Mike hands me his flip-phone and asks me to swap digits with
him. I try to keep eye contact with him the whole time to not look at his mangled
hand (well, what was left of it). He calls me friend and wishes me a good time.
“I’m a phone call away,” he says whilst driving away. “Ok [Ray], getting closer
to seeing you” I text one more time for good measure.
In an attempt to shorten this long story,
just trust yours truly when I say that “this school and the bay, just isn’t for
me.” I can see clearly that I have no ambition to pursue this institution. So,
it’s settled {“I’m dedicating my stay in the bay to the only one keeping me
sane. I’m only thinking and talking about her.} Like a zombie I barely
participate throughout the tour and luncheon. I asked a current cadet of the alma
mater, “What is there to do around here, anything fun?” His response was to
walk away at my infuriatingly frustrating inquiry {F*ck me, right?}. I
see a ship in the school’s pier, I break away from the guides and take a
personal stroll around the grounds. I run into an official who questioned my lone
roam around the practice vessel. “Is this town worth touring after seeing the
school?” I ask before getting kicked offboard. The decorated instructor
honestly said, “It’s pretty dangerous out there, I would recommend you just go
back the way you came.” {Ok, O K A Y. f*ck this place.} I sneak into the
library and change the departure time of my train ticket. {“I don’t give a
frenchman’s f*ck, I am seeing her early!”} I pull out my phone and call
my “chauffer,” “Hey Mike, ima need you to pick me up…Yeah I know it’s only been
like 2 hours… You trying to get paid or not?” Mike rolls up, I break down
everything and he ingests my sincerity. We peel out and struggle to reach the
main highway Mike says, “I’m gonna need to take some backroads, you’ll see that
Hawaii is better than this sh*thole anyways. What about the girl; she’s
still your prerogative, right?” Driving down a sketchy neighborhood and before
I could fully answer Mike…
*BLAP! PRRRRRRRR! CLACK CLACK CLACK!* A
beat up Oldsmobile rolls up on a house. The crown vic’ comes to a halt and all
of Mike’s combat training in evasive maneuvering ignited. Backpedaling the
vehicle and “busting a bitch” my knight, in agent orange coated dermis evaded a
drive-by shooting. “GET THE F*CK DOWN!” he yells, and I scream, “SHOULD
WE CALL THE POLICE!?” Mike laughs as we speed away. “This type of sh*t
happens every day out here. Just stay across the bridge… Uhmm, what time am I
taking you to the station?” Mike says while keeping cool and calm. LIKE IF WE
COULDN’T’VE DIED JUST NOW. {“Ok ok ok, no bleeding. I’m back at the Inn. I need
a beer.”} The front desk receptionist, a cutely poised woman (who, according to
my eavesdropping, had the hots for younger males), sees me storm in a panic. I
rush to the fountain and splash water on my face and sigh in relief saying,
“I’m alive!” She laughs and asks what happened. Not wanting to reiterate what I
just saw, I firmly said, “I need some alcohol.” She smiled and didn’t question the
age paired with my babyface. “I’ll just have it sent to your place.”
Decompressing in my room, I sip on brews,
listen to tunes and talk to the goddess. I try to not stress about my current
events and tell her, “We’ll finally be together in a few moments.” I don’t
sleep and watch the sunrise, preparing to conquer this trek to reach my “queen
bee” and maybe get a little honey :). Heading to the lobby I call my OG homie, “Hey
Mike, it’s me. I’m almost finished with my “breakfast,” It’s time to rock this
joint!” I slam down the phone and wait for my boy, avoiding conversations from the
lonely cougar that’s thirsting for my mo’ning yogurt. I’m shaking the entire
way to the station. “You’re gonna kill it kid, this is the only way to find out
what’s real,” mike appeals. It feels surreal to finally see the one who knocks
me off my heels. “You have my number, if sh*t goes down again, I got
you” Mike reinforces before he drops me off. I sit and wait for the train
that’s taking me up to the state’s capital. I board the locomotive and smile
profusely the entire way to see she who slays my heart. I communicate with her
that I’m getting closer, “I’ll pick you up outside the station :),” was her
answer. Backpack strapped over one shoulder, ukulele in hand, I’m ready to conquer
this unknown land. I make my way out of the station’s congregation location, “making
my way outside,” and before I could hit send, I’m paralyzed by her beauty yet
again. Confidently stepping out of a candy red BMW, poppin’ lip gloss shinnin’ with
a blinding glare, I can’t help but stare as this goddess approaches me with a sinister
smile, one so seducing that it sequesters emotions and holds them for ransom. “OH
EM GEE, I can’t believe you’re really standing in front of me!” were her first
words to me. We meet half-way in a sprint and connect heartbeats with a deep
embrace. Inhale, squeezing tighter. Pulling back and staring into each other’s
eyes, we simultaneously exhale and both nervously sigh. Gently groping my
lady’s arm, “Shall we?” “We shall :)” was exchanged.
Steel-winged butterflies bounce around in
my stomach, I’m painfully loving every second shared with her. Every chance we
get to hold, grip, peck (kiss), is complete bliss. Never a dull moment and
constantly learning more about another. I’m smothered by her giggle after every
tickle and hooked by her look when she playfully asks, “what took you so long?
I thought I’d never see you…” {“Yeah, me too :). Though, I can’t miss my train
back and then who knows if we’ll ever meet again…”} We play and wrestle like
cubs in the wild, her luscious mane drowns my face every time she mounts me, between
my smile I say, “I’m completely happy.” We lay on the carpet in opposite
directions, heads turned to face each other we recite our favourite colours and
then she kisses my forehead saying, “Thank you for coming all this way to see
me :).” She has my heart fully erect at attention, thirsting for her sensation
and questioning if it’s reciprocating. Spun into a web of emotions, I’m caught
and motionless from her love poison. In her clutches I’m vulnerable and life
doesn’t feel normal. In a haze caused by her gaze, this lovable succubus picks
at my teenage heart and laughingly demands we go to starbucks. Hop and skipping
away we spend the entire afternoon and evening together. Always laughing, learning
new things about another, everything is slick like butter. The link we share is
tremendous. But I’m noticing that she’s doing more to me, than just pitching a
tent in my undergarments.
We pretend to play like the adults we
claim to be and dress up for dinner. 2012 was a scary year in fashion. I
facetime my sister and ask her if my ensemble was “at least decent.” She
replies to me, “Ya gump, it’s too f*cking late now!” I wait for her
downstairs, while being interrogated by her parental unit, “Yes, yes Chinese
and Mexican…” I spin in my chair towards the direction of her footsteps and jaw
nearly hits the floor when I saw how stunningly gorgeous this goddess’ light
fills up the room {“D A M N”}. Sporting a tight black dress hugging her shape
{“F*CK, I’m gonna wreck the inside of my pants…”}, intoxicatingly
addictive smile, fiercely gentile eyes that rip clothes off and a confidence
that breaks down doors. I’m floored by her touch as she grazes my butt and
pushes me outside to be photographed. We stood at the doorstep of her parent’s
place and snapped a picture for the memory bank. Cruised to the restaurant and
sang along to summer songs, I sense nothing wrong with gripping the inside of
her thigh as we drive to and from the restaurant. During dinner we talk about
our interesting story and how it’s incredible. Two lost twin souls found in the
aisles of a retail store. A smile never escaped our faces as we cherished our organic
connection. {“She’s the real deal Holyfield! I NEED TO SEE HER AGAIN.”}
2012
Sun sets and its time for me to catch my
train. I display a warm appreciation for the hospitality to my lady’s family
and wish them prosperity. The ride back to the station felt like an eternity.
{“This is it, you know her heart ‘exists,’ so whats next?”} I argue with myself
internally trying to figure out my feelings. {“I’m too young and have my whole
life ahead of me. But, she’s the only one that gets ‘ME.’ F*CK!”} “[Ray]
thank you for making this the best summer ever. You’re someone incredibly
special, please don’t ever change. I cannot wait to see the greatness you’ll mature
to be. I don’t know when’s the next time we’ll get a chance to make this happen
again.” Mascara coated tears run down her face as she accepts the truth of our
distant realities. She pulls me in close for a final embrace and kisses me on
the cheek saying, “You’re special to me, will you at least visit someday?” We
kiss and dismiss the warnings of my cabin’s boarding, “First call!” coming from
the conductor’s cart. I grab her by the shoulders and thank her one more time
[“Second call!”]. Staring into each other’s eyes, making sure to soak in every
detail since I feared this would be my last time seeing her. “Last call, All
aboard!” One last kiss and I say, “Ok babe, I gotta go. Please keep in contact
and try not to forget about me.” Riding away into the shadows of night, I’m
baffled at everything I have just experienced and wish to make sense of it all.
I go down to the bar and sweet talk a beer out of the “young” seasoned bartender.
Constantly questioning if I’m making the right decisions. I’m getting sadder as
the distance is growing and fight to keep every tear in. I sip on the beer and
look out the train’s window, just like every Usher music video. It’s physically
hurting to be away from her, I don’t like the school, or the town and I got a
couple of days left… {“I got two days left in a town I don’t wanna be in. F*CK
IT, I’m seeing her again!”}
“Hey Mike… Yeah, I’m on the train back.
It went great, I’ll tell you about it when I see you. But, Ima need you to keep
the car running. I’m gonna come straight back to the station. I got you
a beer by the way, Stone IPA…” I’m halfway back to station and can’t accept the
fact that I won’t see her again. So, I say, “F*CK IT” and booked another train
ticket to go back the following day. {“Ok. O K A Y. Let’s break this down. It’s
almost 0200am, by 0255am I’ll be in Mike’s cab, over the bridge and back at the
Inn by 0340am, shit shower & shave by 0425am, (hopefully Mike doesn’t bail)
hit the road by 0440am, pass the bridge and reach the station by 0550am, check
in for the 0630am train, arrive in downtown sacramento by 0900am, run to the
‘light rails’ and wait for the next tram, hopefully arrive in Folsom before
1100am.} As if the universe was on my side, everything was going to plan. I
arrive on time, Mike swoops me up and I’m feeling tip-top Magoo. I drop every
detail on Mike and we keep each other awake through the sleepless night. We
park in the Inn’s lot and Mike enjoys his beer as I run up to get ready. After
my cleanse, I rush down and see him in the lobby eating the complimentary food
(it’s only for the hotel’s guests, but no one dares acknowledge him). “What’s
up Mike, you ready, or you need some rest?” With a mouth full of bagel and
cream cheese covered lips he spits, “I haven’t slept since Ho Chi Mihn. Let’s
get ‘em killer OORAH!” Mike demands I sit in the front seat with him, basically
to help pour him coffee from the starbucks box (since, you know, he doesn’t
have fingers). We talk story and I can’t help but peek at the speedometer and calmly
ask, “Hey Mike, am I really tired or does it say we’re doing 142mphs?” He spits
his coffee back in laughter and replies, “It’s broke, the dang needle has been
stuck on that number for years.” Not too convinced I continue, “then how do you
know how fast we’re going?” Then a sigh and reply, “Look kid, I don’t. For all
I know, maybe we are going 142mphs.” Astonishingly how quick we made it back to
the station. {“Ok ok, we’re back. Stick to the plan and let’s have fun.”}
Scary how accurate my earlier mental
strategy turned out. I arrived in downtown sacramento around 0845am and arrived
to folsom around 0935am via “light rails.” Because this was all a secret in
hopes to surprise HER, I wait for the appropriate time of 1000am to shoot her a
good morning text. “Hey, did you manage to sleep at all… Yeah, I didn’t sleep
much either… Just thinking about not seeing you again kills me… Well, what
would you say if I told you I was in folsom right now?” She screams, “DON’T
MOVE” in 3mins she picked me up from her place that’s 15mins away. We spent the
entire day together same as before, enjoying each other’s company, playfully
kissing, snacking and romancing. I feel like we’ve been in a serious
relationship for a while and the people around us keep commenting, “Woah, what
a good-looking couple!” She holds my hand, calls me babe and pushes me into
awkward conversations with strangers. “You two are adorable, how long have you
been dating?” asks the movie ticket vendor. “How long has it been babe? Feels
like forever right :)?” she giggles in response. In shock because she said the
words I was thinking in my head. {“Woah, this is creepy. I guess we are
conjoined at the thought.”} We watch a movie about a masked vigilante in
leather tights. She cried, I laughed. Every moment we spend together is savoury
and sweet. {“She makes me feel complete”} After eating we cruise by a fountain,
take a seat and begin unloading our emotional confusion. It’s obvious that we
share a special connection, but our lives are set in distant places. Our young
selves weren’t ready for the feelings we were harnessing. We still have a lot
of life to live. {“F*CK this goodbye is really gonna suck…”}
It’s getting dark and unfortunately, I
have a train to catch. She kisses my fists and wishes I’d stay for another day.
“You know I can’t, I got work and all this college stuff.” My heart is pounding
through my shirt and my tear ducts are about to burst. Its starting to sit,
that this may be the last time I see this queen. Gathering my belongings, slowly
making my way back to reality. {“This is it, the end to your ‘summer love.’
She’s gonna start forgetting about you”} We hold another closer and tighter as
we step through the front gates of the station. “[Ray], this time forreal,
thank you for making this the best summer ever. Thank you for being you. I
really don’t know when the next time we get to meet will be. But please never
forget about me, you’re not someone easy to forget [Ray]…” Before I could
finish my speech, she yanks me in and plants a big, fat, wet kiss on me. In the
middle of the walkway to board (where strangers had to squeeze by to get around
our pubescent public display of affection). In tears she thanks me and wishes
to know more of me after I leave. We kiss one more time, I board, drink and
finally sleep. Wake up and I’m back in SoCal at my clothing store job. {“Sh*t,
feels like a dream. There’s no way in hell that I’ll ever find anything close
to what she makes me feel. That natural connection is one of a kind.”}
We spoke for months. Everyday. Conversations
never got bland and there was always something new and exciting to learn about
us two. Life began to work its twisted game and those daily endless
conversations turned into weekly, bi-weekly, monthly…. Then. “Hey, can we
talk?” was a text we both simultaneously messaged each other. Crazy to think
that even then, we were in sync. We recognized and respected the distance that
separated us. We acknowledged that we weren’t wishing anyone wrong and just
simply wanted to grow. “We were once strangers, but life brought us together,
more than once! Whatever happens, happens.” Our young minds, made mature
decisions from the heart. A connection that was flourishing and alive would
wither, but not die. We viewed and only peeked into each other’s lives after. Liking
and commenting, on another’s social platforms. Seeing the other mature and find
love, constantly questioning if the connection was still there. {“Maybe, she
found a stronger bond and now not fond with me. I can’t help but say, ‘She’s
the one that got away…’”} Life proceeds and years pass, I’m overtly secure in
accepting that she has forgotten about me and we’ll never see each other again.
All I can do is smile and cherish the memories. Laughing hysterically by
myself, as I think back about all I went through to see her. {“Well, whatever
happens, happens…”}
{Ok ok ok, let me tell you how it R E A L L Y went down. So, what had happened was…}
Part
1– Retail Connection
[“Hey, I think I left my chapstick in the fitting room”]
Dabbling into the pre-teen years of
the 2000s, I worked at a clothing store in outlet’s mall. I conducted an
ensemble of retail assassins, who’s only contract was to murder the products
displayed to the innocent bystanders. We worked through the seasons, avoiding
distractions and stacking sales to the ceiling. It’s the beginning of summer,
and its HOTT, after debriefing my clothing mercenaries, I sensed a disturbance
in the force. I whip my head towards the front door, only to be paralyzed by
beauty. Sleek, slender and sassy. Wrapped with an aggressively bright aura of
hope and happiness. Tantalizing eyes that lure one to a hooking smile. Her
inviting gravitational pull yanks me into her vicinity. I try my best not to
stutter and slurp up my slobber, but my training only lets me spit out our
“hottest sale.” She laughs, says thank you and wishes to try on some articles
of clothing. Then quickly bails…
I run to the store’s back,
hyperventilating, hating myself for not going for the attack. Wishing I
would’ve said something like, “Excuse me miss, but your bodaciously
overpowering beauty is too damn distracting for me in my place of business” or
“Girl you better quit it, with those thirst traps” I don’t know, anything, but
the F*CKING SALE! I go on break and don’t judge me when I say that I
searched up, down, left and right in and around the mall in hunt for this tan
cocoa-skinned angel. Distraught at my failure to locate her, I sauntered back just
going through scenarios in my head, where I DO find her, say something slick
and suave, she falls for it and then that’s all folks. It was the perfect plan.
I had 5mins left on my break, with
an untouched 30mins size meal and endless conversations to my cohorts about the
earth-shattering presence that graced our store about 55mins earlier. Not
wanting to continue living and/or completing the rest of my shift, I’m waist
deep in a lagoon of unfolded garments (a mess that I made), when my sales lead
yells, “HEY! Isn’t that the pretty girl you haven’t stopped jabbering about!?” I
peak out of the depths of the sea of clothing to loudly reply,
“BullSHHHHhhhhhhhhh…” Abruptly stopped in my tracks by the same sasquatchingly-unbelievable
beauty from hours ago. Floundering as I wade in clothing, I remember the
self-hatred from the earlier failure. (By the way, its about 10mins until
closing and homie screams this in an echoing empty store… She was nervously
laughing) I swimmingly make my way towards this shark who’s eaten my heart with
just her sight. I struggle to make my embarrassment unnoticeable, shakingly
approaching her and before my cracking voice could release any words, she says,
“Hey, I think I left my chapstick in the fitting room.” {OH SH*T, HERE’S
MY TIME TO SHINE}
I quietly reply, “Okay, let me open
that up for you.” As she rifles through the messy fitting room, I begin to plot
out my plan of attack. Time’s ticking and I’m risking to go all in. I rip out
some receipt paper and hastily jot down my phone number, all 11 digits just for
good measure. Talking shop my small talk was conniving to pull out some facts.
“Oh, you’re not from here? Well, if you need a tour guide or anything here’s my
number” (kind of douchey, I’m aware). Not knowing what to expect, she
respectfully took the receipt with a smile and replies, “Thank you, but I leave
to go back up north soon.” I stumble backwards from her hard-hitting soft put
down and say, “It’s all good.” She leaves the store alone, with no merchandise,
but holding knowledge of how to reach me through telephone. My platoon
witnesses my murder by words and laughs hysterically as she makes her way
around the corner. Hoping to physically die and not just feel emotionally dead,
blushing red pigment floods my body from toes all the way up to my head. Then I
fuck-off my way back home.
Brought back to life around
midnight; my blindingly bright cellphone screen buzzes me awake. An unknown
area code contacting me late, wishing to speak. “Nahhhh, this can’t be… WAIT!”
I spring out of sleep and yank my phone, unknowing that it’s still plugged into
the wall, I snap the charging cord. I slam the device upside my head and shout,
“Hello, who’s this!?” But there’s no reply. In frustration I soon realize that it
was a txt message. I laugh myself back to relief and soon begin to speak to the
girl who’s been toying with me. “You know, I also looked around the mall for
you after,” she flirtatiously says. We spoke all night, into the early morning.
Finishing each other’s sentences and sharing a natural connection, something foreign
to our non-long-lived teenage hearts. With the stupidest of smiles, that I
could not wipe off, I completely ignored the fact that I didn’t get more than
1hr of sleep and happily pranced into work. My squadron was shocked to see
their dead commander alive; my stride changed the tone of my hater’s mocks. Perched
up and peacocking I’m feeling dapper and ready to cause disaster. I’m crushing
it at work, sales are tremendous, while nonstop back and forth messaging with the
beauty who’s verbally taming this beast. Reality sits that the “what if’s”
don’t exist, so I must act quickly before she gets on that plane and dips.
We talked and planned to finagle a
bagel before she sets sail on the aerial vessel. Breakfast was the only tangible
scenario for us to sit face to face. Picked her up early in the morning for
Belgium waffles at the local mom-n-pop breakie spot. We exchanged words, lost
each other in one another’s stare, food getting cold, but a connection has been
forged. “Why does this seem so natural? I barely know you” (A comment we
unknowingly mimicked at each other). A fresh link that doesn’t feel new, I’m
skewed and wooed by our innocent views. Hopeless romantic ideas supported by a
movie script like backstory. We hugged deeply and said our goodbyes, no funny
stuff. Cordial and respectful. “Though summer just started, thank you for
making it already the best one ever. Take care and I truly wish to see you
again soon.” Replying in a likewise manner, a smile, kiss on the cheek and
farewell was her answer. Our teenage thoughts overpowered the 854.72Km that
lied between us. Weeks after and we’re still talking nonstop, laughing and
calling each other pet names. Facetiming every day, conversations never got
bland. Testing the limits of our connection’s bandwidth, we strayed away from
conversing about our physically distant realities. But I’m scheming ways for us
to bridge this gap. Something would bring us together once, twice, thrice times.
The California summer is still
scorching hott and I’m getting ready to start my “adult life.” My fate was to
be decided upon which university I would attend. Hawaii Pacific University or
California Maritime Academy. Both uni’s awarded me scholarships and showed
interest in this funky looking monkey. I soon realized that one of my options
was only a few hours away from my teenage heart’s beloved counterpart. I
contact the bureaucrats at the northern californian merchant marine college and
told them that I wished to get a tour of the grounds. Before I started looking
for flights, administration took no time to reply and shed light on the campus’
“interesting surroundings.” Little did I know that Mac Dre’s city was, as the
school’s officials said, “Yeah, ‘Valley Joe,’ is pretty ghetto.” The
institute’s spokesperson proceeded to recommend that I stay in the neighboring
town across the bridge. So, I did. Booked my flight and reservations to a
quietly boring NorCal town, who’s name (ironically) rhymes with anesthesia. I
mention the movements to my “Ray of sunshine” and comment “Hey, soon, I’ll
be a train ticket away.”
I tell her about my pursuit for
higher education and the whereabouts of my options. Hawaii or a 2hr train ride away
from “my love at first sight?” (By the way, I had never been to NorCal before)
But my infatuation for her chemistry kept propelling me to be more interested
in this “ghetto” town. {“Ok ok ok, college life in Hawaii or a Merchant Marine
school that’s ‘close’ to HER?… this is too much for my hopeless romantic
teenage heart.”} I use this parental excuse to: A) Check out the uni B) Check
out the town C) Compare it to Hawaii… but my #1) SEE HER ONE MORE TIME! That’s
all I could really think about. Yeah, my educational future was important… however
I thirsted for her gaze, the unspoken emotional connection our young selves
couldn’t comprehend (sh*t, I still don’t get it). I prioritize the campus
tour, plotted around the free time and booked a train ticket, from the city
that “Thizzles” to a suburban SACtown with a bulldog as their mascot. “I’m only
able to squeeze in a few hours to see you, I hope that’s c o o l.” In a seductively conservative timbre
she articulates, “Anything, for a chance to see you :)”
Kissing my parents, sister and canela
(my dog) goodbye at the airport, ecstatic to see how this quest will unfold,
I’m smiling from ear to ear (looking like a fool). Cheddar cheesing throughout
my flight, listening to Pete Rock’s Petestrumentals
and bopping, I’m hoping to not lose sight of my mission. {Lets go through the itinerary:
Land in Raider Nation Airport, [maybe swing by Oakersterdam?] hitch a ride to hotel,
sleep, morning college tour, tour around city, sleep, Train ride! see HER,
train back :(, and more college stuff, blah blah…} In the eternally short
flight, I anxiously fiddled with the university’s brochures and city maps. ‘Enticing’
is a word I would not use to describe what I saw. However, I kept using the
maps to measure distance from my REAL TARGET. The “purpose” of my trip did not matter
to me anymore. I only thought about the girl who “stole my heart” and how I
could find a way get closer to her hypnotizing smile. I could not (and still
cannot) comprehend how a complete stranger, made me feel so alive, heartwarming
and conscious. I questioned if this was a one-way street, some ideas made me want
to test if it was “too good to be true.” {Maybe, this is just all in your head,
you’re overly romanticizing it and this turns out to be a fugazi. Well, let’s
see…}
Dissect the Dialect 